If It’s Too Loud… Huh?

#180, December 7, 2005

 

I smashed my finger last weekend, missing a 10 penny nail with a 20 ounce hammer, resulting in a loud and unprintable noise. The next day, with throbbing finger soaking in ice water, I waited on hold with Kaiser, listening to the cheerful recorded voice periodically ask me did I know one of every five adults suffer from some form of hearing loss?

 

I’m on this kinda crusade, ever since the #2 son’s band relocated to our place and “it’s too loud” was considered a subjective judgment and thus a subject for debate… so I bought a decibel meter, to settle things.

 

Background: I like loud powerful live music. I dance through drum solos. With the right combination of volume and pulse, I’ll dance *with* the music emerging from the PA mains, rebounding off the sound waves like a seagull working the ocean bluff updrafts. How-ever…there’s a point where loud becomes too loud, where punch becomes buzz, where distinct notes and words are lost in a sonic slush. We saw the Blasters several years back. I love the Blasters, still do. They are Americana Rockabilly, BTW, not Death Metal, but they were cranked up to the level where I stopped hearing music and instead heard the sound of my eardrums rattling.

 

This is more than aesthetics; your sense of hearing is getting reamed. Remember the hammer, anvil and stirrup from anatomy class?  When the compressed air waves strike your eardrum, the energy is transferred by them little bones into shock waves of cochlear fluid, which shake the cilia hairs along the nautilus-like cochlea. This shaking triggers nerve pulses to the brain which you understand as Dave Alvin’s searing guitar licks.

 

What damages your hearing? Simply put, too much hair bending creates hair breakdown. So when the band pushes it up to 110, 120 decibels, you are getting an audio weed whacking, with permanent damage beginning in a minute or less. Think of the ringing you hear after the concert as the neural equivalent of the bleeding that precedes the scab that precedes the scar.

 

Yet we let it happen… why? Unlike smashing your finger, which happens all at once and is quite painful, musical ear damage is subtle and takes time. And maybe we think it’s uncool to do anything about it.

 

What do you do? I’ve complained to the venue sound techs; they blame it on the bands. The musicians might already be partly deaf, so maybe it doesn’t bother them. Maybe they need to get down in the audience and hear what we hear. Maybe they should listen to my keyboard player, who says “loud ain’t a substitute for good.” I hope that this column will inspire more people to do more about it.

 

If they won’t turn it down, then what? Forego live music? No way. Use earplugs. You could start by using your fingers; they are easy to quickly insert, adjust, and remove, you will never misplace them, and it sends a message to the band and sound crew. Really cheap foam plugs are effective, but they block the higher frequencies (it’s like sex wearing multiple condoms.) I invest the extra $10-20 on the kind that transmit the full spectrum (check local music stores or online.) My fantasy: studio quality sound reduction headphones with a wireless link to the output of the sound board—you’d get a DVD quality mix with the rest of the live music experience.

 

Don’t resign yourself to hearing loss. A former roadie buddy of mine has tinnitus, where the ringing never stops. My wife had ear damage from childhood infections; she’s less sensitive to loud concerts than I, but can’t hear the distant owls or the murmur of a gentle rain at night. Another friend says she feels that, because of her hearing damage, she’s been cast out of the Garden of Eden.

 

An amplifier ad in a recent issue of Guitar Player magazine read: “If it’s too loud, you’re too old!”

Fools! Mistaking volume for quality will make your ears old before their time, turning that tagline on its ear: “If it’s too loud, you’re not old enough.”